Ruby Bayan is a freelance writer who likes to share her simple joys.

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by Ruby Bayan

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You Can Tell You Have Too Many Office Plants...
by Ruby Bayan

'Collection of Container Plants' by Ruby Bayan when...

  1. Your officemates have to yell, "John, are you in there?"

  2. You start hearing the sound of crickets when you work on overtime.

  3. Instead of vacuuming dust, the janitors rake leaves from your carpet.

  4. The boss's secretary goes to your office to cut flowers for her vase.

  5. Your officemate is mysteriously diagnosed with fertilizer poisoning.

  6. You make more than five trips to fill your watering can (because you're waiting for the next paycheck to buy a garden hose).

  7. The cubicle shelves are warping from the weight of the planters -- even after you've propped them up with stacks of user manuals.

  8. Spanish moss begins to hang from your coat rack.

  9. There are more soil particles on your desk than official documents.

  10. Vines are coming out of your PC's multi-media speakers and weeds are sprouting from behind the laser printer.

  11. The contents of your office supplies cabinet include bags of soil, fertilizer, and cedar mulch.

  12. Sticking out of your pen holder, among the pencils, are a pair of pruning shears, a trowel, and a mini rake.

  13. You spend more time talking to the plants than to the clients.

  14. Your boss sends you a congratulatory memo because your plants have succeeded in absorbing all air-borne toxins from the whole floor.

  15. Your packed lunch is in a picnic basket.

  16. You have no space to stick your post-it notes on -- other than the ficus leaves.

  17. Folks from the other department bring their plants to your office for humidity.

  18. Folks from the other department go to your office to convene with Mother Nature... or harvest ingredients for their tossed green salad.

  19. You come to work early and notice a fog in your office.

  20. Your office smells like a rainforest... or a funeral parlor.

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